If I Never Knew You
by CharmingBecca
Summary: A songfic describing Phoebe and Cole's relationship. Short and sweet.


A/N: This is a songfic basically describing Phoebe and Cole's relationship. Anything inside of **. . .** is Phoebe's thoughts. If it's inside ~*. . .*~ then it's both. And plain is just Cole. The song is If I Never Knew You by Jon Secada and Shanice. At the end, it's just to mark whether it's Phoebe or Cole who is suppose to be commenting on the line being sang.  
  
If I Never Knew You  
  
You ever notice how sometimes you hear a song that just... fits you perfectly? It seems like everything in your life can be related to a song or some type of music. Phoebe once swore to me that for every person, there was a little "Life's Soundtrack" to go with them. She thinks that the song Candy In The Sun by Swirl 360 would be on hers.  
  
I think that the song Number One Crush by Garbage would be on mine.  
  
But I'm not here to talk about me or her seperatly. I'm here to talk about the both of us. As a couple.  
  
I came across this song once, don't ask me how, and I thought that it described Phoebe and I perfectly.  
  
If I never knew you, if I never felt this love  
  
I would have no inkling of how precious life can be  
  
And if I never held you, I would never have a clue  
  
How at last I find in you, the missing part of me.  
  
In this world so full of fear, full of rage and lies  
  
I can see the truth so clear, in your eyes, so dry your eyes  
  
And I'm so grateful to you, I'd have lived my whole life through  
  
Lost forever, if I never knew you.  
  
When I close my eyes, I can see myself perfectly as Belthazor. I can see the life that I would have kept on living if I hadn't of met her. And then I see me leaving her now, and it seems like she's as big a part of me as Belthazor. It seems like I could count myself as only 1/3 human and 1/3 demon. The other 1/3 is *her*.  
  
If I never knew you, I'd be safe but half as real  
  
Never knowing I could feel a love so strong and true  
  
I'm so grateful to you, I'd have lived my whole life through  
  
Lost forever, if I never knew you.  
  
**I can remember when Cupid came, I thought that I would never find love. I thought that I didn't *want* love. Who would? It only brings pain and heartache. But now I can only see good. I mean... If I didn't have Cole, I wouldn't be able to go through with life. He's such a big part of me. He's a demon and I'm a witch, and I know how wrong that is. It's dangerous for us to be together. But who wants to be safe if you don't have yourself?**  
  
I thought our love would be so beautiful  
  
I know I use to think that nothing would ever ruin how great and how special our love was. It could only come once in a million years. And we're great together. We know exactly how the other is feeling, because we've both been through this struggle. We both use to live a life of not-so-great choices. Sure, hers was a little less evil, but we still have that connection.  
  
Somehow we make the whole world right  
  
**When I'm in his arms, it's like... Nothing could be wrong even when me just being with him is wrong. The way I see it, screw the rules! I'm happy with him, and that's what matters.**  
  
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong  
  
All they leave are worthless whispers in the night  
  
But still my heart is saying we were right.  
  
~*If we had listened to what the rest of the world said, if we had given into tradition, then we wouldn't be together. We wouldn't be happy. We wouldn't be... in love. And that's... that's what feels right. Being in love. We know we shouldn't, but... we are.*~  
  
If I never knew you  
  
**Don't want to go there because life would be hell.**  
  
There is no moment I regret  
  
Demons don't regret. Simple. Humans do, but somehow my demon side is right on this one. I don't have any problems with our relationship. Sometimes I wish... I wish I didn't put her in so much danger. I wish that I didn't have a past as a demon, because it only creates secrets between us. I wish that I had never known what it was like to have powers so that I wouldn't miss that part of my life so much. It's just how I wish it was.  
  
If I never knew this love  
  
**I can't believe that I had once never wanted to be in love. Especially with someone as great as this man in my life..**  
  
Since the moment that we met  
  
When we first met, I was evil. But it seems that I couldn't stay that way around her. I don't know why, because if it were any other person, I would have been able to kill them. But Phoebe... She understood me. She had something that no one else ever has. And I still don't know what it is. She's just... magical in every way, ignoring who she really is.  
  
I'd have no inkling of how precious life can be  
  
**Cupid made me realize that life was worth living. Cole made me realize how much I wanted to live. He gave meaning to my life, just as much as I gave to his. Innocents are an obligation; I have to get out of bed for them. But actually wanting to get out of bed, actually wanting to step out into the real world, that's a feeling so great... That you can't even describe.**  
  
If our time's auspicious as that  
  
Is here at last.  
  
Every moment I spend with her is so special. I couldn't possibly just choose one time, one moment with her to be my favorite. It's just impossible. However, I can name what moments I hate the most. The ones where I'm *not* with her, or when we're fighting. There's so much more we could be doing instead of fighting. Thankfully, that's not often.  
  
I thought our love would be so beautiful  
  
~*Looks like we're in agreement...*~  
  
**So beautiful...**  
  
~*Somehow we make the world right*~  
  
**I thought our love would be so beautiful  
  
We turn the darkness into light**  
  
~*And still my heart is saying we were right.*~  
  
We were right  
  
And if I never knew you  
  
**And if I never knew you**  
  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
  
~*Empty as the sky  
  
Never knowing why  
  
Lost forever  
  
If I never knew you*~  
  
I love her... With all my heart. She gave me a life, a purpose. She gave me meaning. She's so special to me. She helped me find my way. And I never want to leave her... 


End file.
